Goal Report #8

Guess what? This is the very last goal report before our little girl makes her grand entrance into the world! At least we hope. With the way things have been going the last 3 or 4 days, I'm not entirely sure this pregnancy will EVER end. I've been having some pretty regular contractions- a few intense (but not painful!)-ones. We even went in to L & D on Friday night per order of the after-hours nurse for our clinic. Sadly, I was told after observation that while I was having contractions (yes, I knew that) and was in labor (as early as it may or may not have been), I didn't progress enough during my hour to stay. So what have I been doing the last 2 days? Having more contractions, not sleeping all that well and being utterly unmotivated to do anything. Well, I did ask the cat to clean up after herself in the bathroom but that didn't happen. Don't judge my goals for this week too harshly, please. At least we got most of my goals for last week accomplished.

Goals from last week: 

• Be better about taking & accurately recording my blood sugar levels: I haven't been asked for levels so I've been taking a couple reference levels a day. My arm is bruised from all the pokes- it needs a break! 
• Edit my annotated bibliography: Yup. Turned it in on Tuesday and then headed to see the doctor. 
• Turn in bibliography: Check
• Edit my paper topic: Check
• Spend some time on Friday writing my paper: Glad I only made the goal of "some" time. I did spend an hour or so rewriting my thesis and being distracted by contractions. Check. 
• Attempt to stay ahead of laundry: I made an attempt. Craig helped. We have clean laundry. 
• Find envelopes that will fit the cards I've made: Craig picked out black. Check. 
• Address above mentioned cards: collected addresses, no labels yet. Maybe this week. 
• Finish Christmas preparations: So stinkin' close! We were going to get a gift card to our favorite taco restaurant,  Pastorero, for Bryan for Christmas (my brother who lives here and is going to UVU) but they've gone out of business!! I am heartbroken. Seriously. 
• Make packing list for going to Connecticut. We leave in 18 days. Yes, I have a list. Yes, the list will likely change BUT I have it and having it makes me feel better. 
• 30 second clips of this years "Pass & Review" concert for CMB: DONE!!! Not only are they done, they're also online for Bro. Mac to listen to and approve. Aaah. I like getting things done. 

Goals for this week: 

• Teach 90 seconds of choreography (4 hours... 90 seconds...I think that might be reasonable)
• Take 3 stats quizzes
• Survive last full week of classes-no idea what that means but it sounds like a good goal
• Start packing for Connecticut? (I don't know if this is even really possible, but we'll see)
• Finish Christmas for last couple family members
• Have a baby

From my perspective

*(Potentially) Hormonal Rant Warning!*

You always hear or read that no two pregnancies are the same. Guess what? No two pregnant women are the same, either. This means that what one might find to be perfectly acceptable, strangers coming up to you in the grocery store and touching your tummy, for example, might be the most inappropriate thing to another. For most of my own pregnancy here I've tried to remember that not everyone thinks about things the way I do. I'd like to say I've been successful in just letting things- particularly things I find absurd- "roll off," but I think I hit a bit of a snapping point today.

Things that seriously bug me:

• Telling me I'm too big, too small, too round, too pointy etc. I'm not "too" anything- I am exactly the size and shape I need to be for this baby. 
• Telling me that I'm going to go past my due date. (Saying things like "the baby hasn't dropped, you've got tons of time to go" isn't useful.)
• Warning Craig about how terrible and difficult it is going to be to be a parent. Yes, that's really helpful to both of us. How about sharing how wonderful it was the first time you were handed a child of your own? Those are the sort of things we like to hear about. We know babies poop, sleep (or not) and cry. Share the happy things with us! 
• Being told my hips are too narrow to have a baby, labor is terrible, the horrors of transition and how selfish it is to have any pain intervention. At times like this, I think of my mother saying "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Is attempting to scare someone who is going to go through labor helpful? I think not. 
• Okay, I have never had a baby but I can already tell you there is no such thing as "popping out a baby." Not only is that not even remotely accurate, I find it to be rather crude. 
• If I look pregnant, then no, I haven't had the baby yet. You don't need to ask. 
• I don't need medical advice. I'm paying a doctor for that and don't need to hear contradictory information.  
• I'm one of those women who would prefer not to be asked to turn sideways to be looked at, have "mommy/daddy tummy" pictures taken or showing my bare tummy, for crying out loud. I have no issues with women who are cool with that sort of thing- it's just not for me.  Don't ask. 
• And most of all- having my unborn daughter referred to as "Maddie." For the record, if we do name her Madeline after she is born, she will be referred to as Madeline. (Obviously, if we haven't told people how we feel about this we wouldn't be upset at them.) 

Helpful things: 

• My sister-in-law, Jenny, is amazingly sweet. She has great advice, absolutely, but the best part about her advice is that she shares it with us knowing that no two women, babies, pregnancies, deliveries or couples are the same. Suggestions are great! We haven't been parents and appreciate tips but not the ones that come as the end-all answer. 
• Seeing dads at church, the store, on campus etc. with their babies and loving every minute of it- even the less picture-perfect times. 
• My mom (and sisters) listening and not judging me for asking potentially silly questions- sometimes over and over again. 
• Friends who offer to go for walks
• Sleep

Goal Report #7

Woo! We've hit (like a ton of bricks) week 7! I was thinking about what I might like on my list for this week and it was pretty pathetic. Don't worry, I've amended my list of "go to class, teach guard, make green bean casserole" to include a few more things. I'm so de-motivated and tired. Must be the end of a semester AND pregnancy.

Goals from last week: 

• Study for, take and pass my final stats "midterm." Yup! I passed! Time to start studying for the final. 
• Submit-officially- my topic/opening paragraph for Shakespeare: Submitted. Interesting feedback from my professor. I guess I either need to write about every possible use of masking in Shakespeare or narrow my topic substantially. 
• Get my other class assignments for the week done early: I'm sure that it's only because I made this goal that two of my stats quizzes were unsuccessfully submitted, or, non-mitted? Otherwise, everything was done early. 
• Teach 1 minute of routine for WG: yes. A minute was taught. Was it retained? I guess we'll see tomorrow. 
• Get eligibility form signed by administration: we had more people join and I didn't get contracts until Wednesday. Apparently this isn't even required until the end of January. 
• Go on a fabulous little "weekend away" with Craig: fabulous! If you need a new place to eat, try "Eva" in Salt Lake. It's across the street from "The Melting Pot" and stuffed between a sports bar and a Japanese steak & sushi house. It reminded me of one of my favorite places in Boston. 
• Record at our last home BYU football game! It may have been cold, incredibly windy and dark, but we did it! We got a couple good recordings of our last home game, even with halftime being played to all sides. Maybe some day I'll figure out how to post our recordings on here. 

Goals for this week: 

• Be better about taking & accurately recording my blood sugar levels
• Edit my annotated bibliography (apparently I only need 8 sources and I have 12...shouldn't be too hard to fix) 
• Turn in bibliography 
• Edit my paper topic
• Spend some time on Friday writing my paper
• Attempt to stay ahead of laundry
• Find envelopes that will fit the cards I've made
• Address above mentioned cards
• Finish Christmas preparations
• Make packing list for going to Connecticut. We leave in 24 days. I am SOO excited!
• 30 second clips of this years "Pass & Review" concert for CMB

Sigh. I might be making goals that I won't accomplish. I'll do my best but I am so highly unmotivated even making this list. I'm so glad Craig just put in a load of laundry. Maybe these are things to be accomplished but not necessarily by me. Hmmm. I will report next Sunday. 

Grandpa Merrill Quote of the Day:

The end of a mission is like watching your mother-in-law drive off a cliff in your new Cadillac. 

Items of note for the day...

I am so glad that it is still warm enough for flip-flops. (Non-New Englanders would probably think I'm nuts for thinking anything above 50* is acceptable flip flop weather.) No tying of shoes means less bending in my day.

Tomorrow is Friday and starting at about 3:00, I get Craig all to myself. I even have some fun surprises planned. He might think he knows what it/they might be, but not quite. ;)

Despite some peoples' best efforts to convince me otherwise, our baby really is working her way towards her birth day. The end is in sight!!

It is grandpa Peterson's 88th birthday and Mark & Jenny's anniversary. Happy Day to all!

We'll be home (Connecticut) in about 27 days. I cannot really say how excited/glad/etc. I am to be going!!

I only have one stats "midterm" left to take. Sadly, that is where I'm heading now. If I disappear off the face of the earth and never post again, you will know to look for my remains- whatever there might be of them. My favorite spot in the testing center is facing West, clock on the left and pushed right up against the North wall.

Cherry points?

Craig got some serious points last night. (Other than bringing me a diet cherry-limeade which has zero carbs and onion rings which do have plenty of carbs.) We got to take a little trip the labor & delivery for a quick check to make sure everything was as it should be. There is nothing to worry about!

When the triage nurse came in asked, among other things, how much I currently weigh, Craig gave an over-estimate by about two pounds. I looked at him, he corrected and when the nurse gave me a funny look, I explained that I've never been over about 130 in my life. Wondering how Craig earned some bonus points? His response was "you don't, the baby does." VERY nice job, dear!

Yes, I do feel- and look- like the baby has put on about 10 pounds in the last 12 hours. My maternity shirts don't want to fit over my tummy. Must be time to be done being pregnant!

Everyone else is doing it

...Posting today, that is. I love reading my friend's/family member's blogs. (Erin- you haven't updated since September! You've had so many fun trips & adventures with the boys that need to be shared with the world!...or just me & mom.) Some are neat, organized and have lots of thoughtful things to say and others are fabulously random. I think I'll go with random today ;)

Reasons why we can have our baby now:

• Car seat cover is done! 
• Craig was ultra awesome and took me to get a pedicure. He even stayed with me and talked sports with the two (very straight) men who were working at the salon
• Craig put gas in the Passat & even started cleaning it out
• Car seat base is in the car
• Our hospital and diaper bags are both packed. And waiting. 
• The Pack & Play is set up in our room- on Craig's side of the bed
• Winter guard is running right on schedule (How? Not really sure...small goals, I guess)
• Erin gets back from Seattle today
• At my check up last week, I was 2cm dilated and 70% effaced
• I'm sort of getting tired of bugging my mom because I don't know exactly what it is I'm feeling and the changes going on
• Craig can't wait to have his little girl around-he is so excited. Every day, several times a day, he asks if we're going to get our baby today. 
• I'm really quite tired of being pregnant

Reasons we can't have the baby yet: 

• Grandpa is out of "dairy food"

Goal Report #6

It is here. Week 6 (or is it technically 7? Oh, who cares.) We have accomplished all of the things on my original "to-do before baby is born" list but it's still nice to make weekly goals. It has been a mostly productive week...what I can remember of it! I am having some serious memory issues right now! Thankfully, I have my goals from last week posted and can just refer back to them. Isn't that great that we can do that? Well, I think so. 

• Guard auditions Monday: Auditions are done, we've had two good rehearsals including a 5-hour gym blocking rehearsal! As of right now, we have a solid team of 9 with another boy wanting to join tomorrow. We'll just see how things go for him at rehearsal. 
• Write 30 seconds of work (and teach on Wednesday): Actually, the team learned 45 seconds of choreography. Is it clean? No, but it's functional. 
• Get directors book put together. This is an on-going process but I would certainly say this is a goal thoroughly accomplished. 
• Finish (& submit early for review) my annotated bibliography: Done and submitted to my professor for review. I'm still waiting for some feedback but I'm pretty confident in how things are going with it right now. 
• Write half of my rough draft (round about 1,000 words): I didn't get this going since I haven't gotten my paper topic/opening paragraph feedback back yet. I did notice something, however. My annotated bibliography is almost 2,000 words which is the required length of my final paper. I'm feeling much less worried about getting this done in a timely manner. 
• Try, again, to get the house cleaning things done: This is never really done but we had clean laundry, clean kitchen, clean fridge and sparkling clean bathroom. 

A few other things of note from the week: 

• Casey, baby Amelie and I went for a nice, long walk in the mall. That contributed to feeling great from being up and moving, getting a good nights sleep and some mild contractions. 
• I ate solid food! My mouth is still sensitive, but I can at least chew most foods with my molars. 
• We had "pie-day Friday" in my Shakespeare class. I had to slip out early to get grandpa to a dentist appointment, but it was still quite glorious, nonetheless. 
• I got the car seat cover finished! I've only had the material for months and it's not like it's exactly difficult to sew but it's done now!
• Designed and somehow made a funny little pacman birthday cake for Kirk
• Had a fun "dinner date" with Grandpa on Friday night since Craig had work. I like our outings- especially the ones that involve sitting and hearing fabulous stories over food. (Their dinner the day they got married was at a KFC/IBC  in Idaho. As a result, that's where they liked to go for dates. Good draft IBC rootbeer!) 
• Bryan came with grandpa, Craig & I to Brick Oven- thanks for the suggestion, Andrew Charles!- on Saturday night. Grandpa ordered a big pitcher of rootbeer. When it was nearly empty, grandpa asked the server to refill it. She said she was sorry, that it couldn't be refilled. Grandpa's response with a straight face: "Sure it can! Just put it right in the top!" It was incredibly funny. Perhaps you just had to be there. 

Goals for this week: 

• Study for, take and pass my final stats "midterm." I have this test and then the final exam left! 
• Submit-officially- my topic/opening paragraph for Shakespeare 
• Get my other class assignments for the week done early
• Teach 1 minute of routine for WG
• Get eligibility form signed by administration 
• Go on a fabulous little "weekend away" with Craig
• Record at our last home BYU football game!

Lessons learned in Cake

For my birthday, my mom signed me up for the Wilton cake decorating basics course. I finished those classes about 3 weeks ago and have had very little reason to bake or decorate anything since. Baking a cake "just because" is a little more difficult in a house with two people who have diabetes, a cat who isn't a fan and another person who doesn't eat a whole lot of sweet treats.

Lucky for me, Craig's brother Kirk turned 30 today and our birthday present to him was making a creative birthday cake. The food theme was tex-mex and so my original plan was to make a bright red chili-pepper shaped cake. In my design debate, my mom suggested doing something "retro" since 30 is a major birthday or something like that. I finally decided to go with a pacman theme with a Funfetti cake filled with a chocolate-raspberry filling and frosted in homemade cream cheese frosting. I found lots of fun cakes that had been done but most of them involved fondant and I was more interested in attempting some of the frosting/piping techniques I had learned in class.

I learned a few things doing this cake.

• Homemade cream cheese frosting, while delicious, is quite heavy. As a result, it can be difficult to frost a cake cleanly and smoothly with. (I don't like buttercream but maybe next time I'll use it anyway since it's much easier to work with and pipe on.) 
• Piping gel is magical. 
• Having (almost) enough time, everything you need nearby and having the right tools for the job can make anything less stressful and more fun.
• The Wilton color tint is pretty much awesome. I was able to get the colors I wanted and not have globs of food coloring sticking to the sides of my bowls. 
• Torting, piping and filling cakes is not difficult. 
• Craig enjoys making design suggestions (he told me where to put the ghosts, big dots and cherries)
• In the end, no one really cares what a cake looks like as long as it tastes good. I don't think anyone really looked at the cake much before sticking 30 candles in it and then devouring almost the entire thing. 

Even though it didn't turn out quite like I was imagining, it was a good "learning experience" for me and a tasty dessert for a birthday. 

IT IS FINISHED!

My accomplishment for the day: The car seat cover is finally done. Carry on.

A few of the crafty projects that are keeping me sane...

I was told once that the desire to create comes because of the fact that we are the ultimate creation and somehow we then have a need to create. (This came up in a RS lesson after discussing a BYU Devotional address several years ago.) Some people are easily able to create amazing works of art, create working machines, delicious meals, cool sand castles and others to see and really appreciate it. And then there's the rest of us. Those of us who certainly enjoy seeing beautiful or unique things, those who, perhaps not the most talented or knowledgable, enjoy attempting to create something pretty and practical. Sometimes I think the attempt is half the fun even if the final product isn't all that great. Yes, I love crafting and sewing and designing. I'm not the greatest at it but it sure is fun to try!
Here are a few of my most recent attempts...
I keep seeing little girls with giant headbands and flowers and frills all over the place. I think there certainly ought to be a size limit on these things. Those poor babies with flowers bigger than their heads are going to end up with back and neck problems before they're two! I, not being one to spend $15 on a single headband (that had a sloppy glue blob on the back!), decided to make my own and scale it down quite a bit. These here are made of a pair of $0.33 knee-highs, some extra soft felt (for backing), $0.75 worth of frilly accent, a pearl bead I found in my button jar and a flower that won't stay in its pot anymore. So, in total, I spent less than $2 to make a couple (I think) cute headbands.

I've also included pictures of the baby announcements I'm putting together (sans picture & baby info) before little miss is born. The car seat cover I've been attempting to get myself to work on for weeks is nearly done, too. Proof to the right.  I've been asked why I keep doing/making/crafting things and I suppose it is an attempt to keep busy until she comes since for some reason, as long as I'm working on a baby project, it seems to make time pass quicker. Yes, I realize I'm nuts. At least Baby Cosmo enjoyed the dress-up time (Kitty was most displeased when I attempted to recruit her as a model.)

Goal Report #5

Report #5... wow. 5 Seems like a lot. Our little one is due in 29 days and I still have so much to get done. Not just with my projects at home or attempting to get ahead (and staying ahead) of the normal never-ending house items but also with school. Papers, projects, midterms ah! I'm sure I'll miss it all someday but from my perspective now, I just can't wait for it to be done. Anywho, on to my goal report for last week:

• Pick a paper topic for what may be my last major paper in college: Done and done! I'm going to be writing about gender roles, reversal & confusion based on "A Midsummer Nights Dream" and "As You Like It" (yes, this is for my Shakespeare class)
• Outline paper (rough/basic): I have my main questions picked and ready to be "juiced"
• Start my annotated bibliography: I currently have 8 of the 12 required sources completed. I would like to finish those and get going on the paper, though.
• Have blocking and basic choreography written for first 30 seconds of winter guard routine: I know what I want but this really wasn't a goal I should have set before knowing how many people I'm going to have to work with. Instead, I did all of the other paper work for the season I could. 
• Hold winter guard auditions: This was postponed until tomorrow (Monday) after school. 
• Get a good set of recordings at the BYU game: Yup- done and done! And Craig got to help again. 
• Get a lot of the video time-coding done for the BYU band: The entire hard drive I was given has been sorted through, organized and contents listed in a google doc excel spread sheet. 

A couple other things from this week...

• I had all 4 wisdom teeth removed. This wasn't planned and sort of slowed my paper-writing progress. 
• I started working on (and finished!) several Christmas presents. We're on a very tight Christmas budget but still wanted to do something so they're creative and made with lots of love. After we give them to our families after Thanksgiving, I'll post pictures. Wouldn't want to ruin any little surprises! 
• Finish sewing car seat cover TODAY. As in, this afternoon. So close!

Goals for this week...

• Guard auditions Monday
• Write 30 seconds of work (and teach on Wednesday)
• Get directors book put together
• Finish (& submit early for review) my annotated bibliography
• Write half of my rough draft (round about 1,000 words)
• Try, again, to get the house cleaning things done

Okay, fine!

So, I've been asked (repeatedly) to post a "pregnant picture" of myself for quite a while. Craig got one on the sideline at the stadium today while we were waiting for the game to get going and I figure a picture from a game with a score of 55-6 really can't be all bad ;). There. You can now say you've seen my giant side! Hope it's all you were dreaming of (and not too much more!!)

By the way, I am 36 weeks now.

Just because

I felt like I needed to write a quick post this evening before I sit down to attack two more stats lessons and perhaps a little mending. I will admit, I have been one giant grump-ball this week. In the moment(s) I certainly felt justified but really, how often are we truly justified in being grumpy or ungrateful? I hope the answer really is "never".

My gripes:

• I got my wisdom teeth out and can't take any really "good" pain medications and my cheeks & jaw are so swollen I'm still on a soup diet. So? I should be glad that we live somewhere we even have access to safe dental care. Besides, I have tylenol, ice and a husband who was willing to do anything he could to make sure I was comfortable- including getting me a Jamba juice with protein, rubbing my feet, watching girly movies and helping me try over and over again to get some antibiotics down. (And then he put everything involved in that through the wash so I wouldn't have to). 
• We have so many bills to pay and now the added expense of this little surgery on top of everything else already going on. Craig and I are both employed. I heard on the radio again today that nearly 10% of the country is still unemployed. Our combined student loan expenses are less than half of an average college graduate. While we may feel the stresses associated with student loans, medical bills and unexpected expenses, I can't think of anyone who doesn't. Oh, and we have eye, dental and health insurance that- as my mother pointed out- really isn't that bad. Things could be a lot worse. 
• Grandpa had an episode of sorts last weekend and now people are worried about him again and it feels like no one has confidence in our ability to give him the help he needs. Grandpa and I have been on two outings this week- both initiated by him. We also went for a walk outside yesterday.  Before I got home today, he had been out in the neighborhood enjoying the beautiful fall colors. He enjoyed being out in the sun so much that he went for another short walk while I was resting. He is enjoying life, enjoying food and getting better and better every day. 

As hard or as stressful as things get, we're not going to starve or be forced to live in our car. We're getting a good education (and so close to finishing!) Even though sometimes it feels like it's two steps back for every step forward, at least there is a forward step in there at all.